As you probably already know by now, the factory that produces Sriracha, the condiment made of chili and garlic also known as “the best thing ever,” has shut down for the foreseeable future due to the fact that the townsfolk of Irwindale, CA, the town in which the factory resides, are a bunch of whiny babies and jerks. Said jerks apparently can’t appreciate the slight smell of garlic in the air or breathing in delectable spices all the time. Kevin Roden, Denton city councilman and over-pronouncer of Sriracha, has made a bid for Denton to be the new home of the beloved company and we’re right behind him on this. Yesterday, Roden took to social media, encouraging Dentonites from all over to show David Fong, CEO of Huy Fong Foods (the company behind Sriracha), reasons why Denton should be their new home. If you search #Sriracha2Denton, you’ll find tons of pics of the iconic Sriracha bottle in front of plenty of Denton landmarks. In a bid of positivity, we’re jumping the gun and discussing a list of things in Denton that would be markedly improved with the addition of Huy Fong Foods and Sriracha to town. If you have your own to add, tell us in the comments!


1. A Sriracha Flavored Ice Cream from Beth Marie’s

We’ve tried their “red wine and blue cheese” and their whiskey and honey concoction and both were delicious and left us clamoring for more. What if Huy Fong moved to Denton and collaborated with Beth Maries on an ice cream flavor? Can you imagine the possibilities? You could place the garlicky, spicy ice cream that you could place on top of some sort of dessert that we currently can't imagine, but we’re sure exists. We need this now.

2. Sriracha in some Morrison’s Corn Kits Mixes

People don’t realize that Sriracha isn’t just good on Asian food. It’s good on all sorts of stuff. You can dip pizza in it, use it as a replacement for salsa or stir it into some corn bread for a nice, spicy kick. We hope to do just that. Just put “Thanks, We Denton Do It” on the mix when you sell it, Morrison’s.

3. Sriracha Cocktail at Paschall’s or Oak St. Drafthouse

Oh man, can y’all imagine the possibilities? A teaspoon of sriracha in a bloody Mary (or Maria) from either of the aforementioned bars would give it just the kick that we love. We could even see The Greenhouse getting on this bandwagon. Heck, maybe y’all should just go ahead and do this and we’ll hop in over the weekend and try one. Maybe for free? What other drinks would sriracha be good in? Shoot, just shake it in a shaker with some tequila and maybe a lime and we’ll drink whatever you wanna call it.

4. An Asian Market

Do you know that it takes like half an hour to get to Super H Mart? That’s not even when it’s trafficy. Maybe if we get Huy Fong to move to town, we’ll get us enough Asian cred that we could have a suitable Asian market in Denton. After all, we need a place where we can go to purchase some shrimp chips, (cheaper, fresher) kimchi, spices, some salt-cured duck eggs and other perfectly normal things. Foreign exchange students might feel more comfortable in town, too.

5. La Estrella Tacos

Because we can’t go a week without mentioning our beloved taco lords, we figured we’d throw them in here, too. Have bottles of Sriracha on the tables at La Estrella and you won’t have to worry about over or under-pouring your salsa from the little plastic cups onto your tacos. Sriracha bottles have that handy-dandy green cap that allows you to precisely control just how much red sauce makes it onto your food of choice. We imagine that the spicy condiment would go just perfectly on any taco from La Estrella.

6. The Courthouse/Courthouse Lawn

We already know that you can drink wine on the courthouse lawn. Let’s just start getting weird with it and drinking some sriracha, too. On the plus side, it’s non-alcoholic and comes in a plastic bottle, so you won’t meet any apprehension from the police. If not, the courthouse has been looking a little bland lately. Can we get someone to just pour a little sriracha on the top?