It's been a while since we last opened up the Hey Wiseguy mailbag, but we figured we'd check the 'ole inbox in time for the election and we're glad we did. We had a reader write in asking a pretty dang good question. What the heck does being against a ban on fracking mean? Read on for more!

Hey Wiseguy,

I've never thought of myself as a dumb individual, but I'm kinda rackin' my brain right now understanding this whole fracking ban thing. My actual opinion withheld, I'm not sure exactly how to vote. Is a vote for "yes" a vote to frack or a vote to ban fracking? Open my eyes please, goodsir.

Yours Truly,

Admiral Adama

Dear Admiral,

Man, do I know it. Politics can be confusing in general, but when the advertising for something is more confusing than the actual wording on the ballot, something's wrong. Speaking of the wording of the ballot, let's take a quick look at that. When voting, you will be presented with the following question (in all caps, of course):

“SHALL AN ORDINANCE BE ENACTED PROHIBITING, WITHIN THE CORPORATE LIMITS OF THE CITY OF DENTON, TEXAS, HYDRAULIC FRACTURING, A WELL STIMULATION PROCESS INVOLVING THE USE OF WATER, SAND AND/OR CHEMICAL ADDITIVES PUMPED UNDER HIGH PRESSURE TO FRACTURE SUBSURFACE NON-POROUS ROCK FORMATIONS SUCH AS SHALE TO IMPROVE THE FLOW OF NATURAL GAS, OIL, OR OTHER HYDROCARBONS INTO THE WELL, WITH SUBSEQUENT HIGH RATE, EXTENDED FLOWBACK TO EXPEL FRACTURE FLUIDS AND SOLIDS?

FOR THE ORDINANCE _______________

AGAINST THE ORDINANCE ______________

The ordinance in this case, is for ban of hydraulic fracturing and whether you want it allowed in the Denton city limits or not. However, they've added a few extra nouns, pronouns, and hypernouns (are those a thing) to beef it up. Is there a minimum word count for propositions? Who writes these things, afterall?

The way we see it, you're either against being for being against fracking in which case you would vote NO, or you're for being against being for fracking and would cast a YES vote. It really couldn't be simpler.

In other words, putting your vote as "for the ordinance" would ban fracking in Denton and casting your vote as "against the ordinance" would be a vote to keep fracking. You're either "for" or "against" the ban.

And, that's what much of the billboards, yard signs, online ads, mailers, infomercials, product placement, other mailers, blimps, skywriting, and face yellings (these are where people yell at your face how to vote) have tried to get across, albeit in a few more words. We've seen billboards that read, "Support responsible drilling," which a casual observer, with knowledge that there's a fracking ban on the line in Denton would be led to believe was actually an ad for "Frack Free Denton," but they would be wrong. On the side of that same billboard, you'll read, "Vote no [sic] drilling ban." Responsible drilling then meaning the drilling they've been doing in the city limits.

So go vote no or yes on whether you'd like or not like for there to never be no fracking in Denton city limits and get one of them fancy little stickers people seem to like so much.

Hey Wiseguy,

I just moved here from up north cuz Denton seems awesome. Anyway, I keep hearing about how good the tacos here are from people. Like they're better than cheeseburgers or something crazy like that. Even the Little Guys Movers dudes who helped me move in made a series of catchy videos where they smashed tacos into their faces. Then yesterday, I saw this girl on campus wearing this taco-cat shirt. Am I missing something? When did tacos become a thing? Maybe this is just a dumb question, but are tacos actually culinarily advanced enough to be a cultural phenomena? Normally, I just grab some lunch tacos from Taco Bell or Del Taco, or some breakfast tacos from Taco Cabana if I wake up early enough, but with all the talk of tacos going around, I feel like I might be missing out. I don’t know, though, I can’t see tacos getting much better than that.

Sincerely,

No-Taco Terry

No question is a dumb question, Terry. Aside from your taste in you tube videos, however, you’re pretty much a gigantic doofus (no offense - my friend-base primarily consists of doofuses and idiots). You have no clue about the wild world of taco-dom that exists all around you. Before we delve into that, however, we need to address something. You said the phrase “lunch tacos.” That’s not a thing. Sure, there are breakfast tacos. We all know them, love them and eat them any chance we get, but aside from the “breakfast” variety of tacos, all other tacos are just “tacos.” Chocotacos don’t count. Still not getting it? When you receive a taco, ask yourself this question, “Does my taco have egg in it?” If it does, you are about to chow down on a breakfast taco. If not, it is just your general, garden-variety taco and there’s not a damned thing wrong with that. If we hear about you using the term “lunch taco” again, though, we’re gonna have a problem, buddy.

Anyway, back to what you’re missing out on. There are multiple levels of tacos that exist in Denton. You have the authentic tacos, the gringo tacos and the cheap fast food tacos you’re already used to. Don’t eat those anymore. Your new diet should be primarily composed of authentic, Mexican tacos with the occasional gringo taco thrown into the mix every now and then. Let’s hit those two up and expound upon that a bit.

Denton has it’s share of authentic, Mexican taco places. McKinney St. is lousy with them. Hit up La Estrella over there for some life-changing breakfast tacos. If you’re buying what I’m saying, I’d also encourage you to stop by Taco Lady and try something you’re afraid of such as lengua (tongue) or chicharrón (some tasty part of a pig - maybe pork groin?). La Sabrocita on Dallas Dr. is also delicious and open very late. Start with those. Eventually, you’ll start to notice these taquerias more and more and your smeller will sniff them out when you drive by one.

As far as gringo tacos go, Denton only has a couple spots from which to sample. These fancy, interestingly-filled taco places are a (mostly) recent development in the taco world. Denton is usually pretty far behind the curve as far as trends and crazes go, though. After all, we got cupcakes after everybody was already tired of eating Sprinkles and our frozen yogurt places showed up long after the name Pinkberry was laughable. Fancy-ass tacos will be no different. They’ll be here eventually. While Dallas already has it’s fair share of taco-centric restaurants in Velvet Taco, Good 2 Go Taco, Torchy’s, etc... we basically just have Fuzzy’s and Rusty’s. God, what we would give for a Good 2 Go Taco to open up here. Digg’s Tacos was going to open up a storefront last year, but they were scared away by the likes of Scott Brown Properties. That’s our loss because that place is wonderful, too. Oh well, though. Time will change things. In the meantime, go eat at Rusty’s and avoid Fuzzy’s like the plague. Some people will swear by it, but canned chicken, salad-filled guacamole and red-tinted vinegar will never make be the basis of a great gringo taco facility (I will admit to a once-a-year craving for their nachos, though). Rusty’s is more bang for your flavor-buck. Their fried chicken taco and their brisket taco are both righteous. Throw one of their specialty margaritas with ‘em and you’ve got a great meal to take out on their patio.

We hope that helps you in your taco journey, Terry. While nothing really compares to the feeling of smearing some Taco Bell hot sauce on a quesadilla at two in the morning, that isn’t something you should be doing to your body. Nothing good happens after midnight, after all. Now, I’m must go and prepare for the onslaught of the taste bud-impaired Fuzzy’s defenders. See ya in the taco wrappers!

Wiseguy fields questions whenever he can. Sometimes he answers questions, sometimes he just rants and rambles. Maybe you'll get lucky. If you have a question you'd like to ask "Hey Wiseguy," please send him an email.

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