THE FOLLOWING IS COMPLETE SATIRE BECAUSE LOOK AT THE DATE
Spiral Diner announced in a press release this morning that they intend to serve meat at their Denton location set to open later this year. Read on to find out more information on this shocking news.
Spiral Diner announced this morning that they intend to serve meat at their upcoming Denton location. The well known local chain is famous for serving delicious and inexpensive vegan fare at all their locations. Read on to find our more about why Spiral Diner has abandoned their commitment to veganism at their Denton restaurant.
Plans for a Denton location for Spiral Diner were announced last fall and are set to open later this year. Vegans and non-vegans alike have been anxiously awaiting the restaurant that has other locations on Magnolia St. in Ft. Worth and on Beckley Ave. in Dallas.
"Denton people just kind of look like they eat a lot of meat," Abril Tonto, future manager of the Denton location, said. "We drove into town one day last week and saw all of you just sitting around eating tacos and burgers and decided that we needed to change our game plan. Heck, we had a meeting with a city planner and they had a meat stain on their tie and were holding a bag that just said 'MEAT' on the side for the entire duration of our meeting. What was in that bag?!"
We do know what they mean, though. We may have a bit of a taco problem and a lot of us DO look as if we are carnivores.
The changes aren't expected to impact their entire menu - just certain items that could easily go back to include meat. For example, the "Chik'n-Less Salad" will retain its name, but now include a whole bunch of real chicken - like two pounds of chicken y'all. The "McNut Burger" which used to contain a healthy blend of sunflower seeds, carrots, brown rice and more in the bun will keep all those other things, but also just add some pulled pork so Dentonites will get that meat fix they think that they really need.
Also on the menu are a few new meat-specific menu items on the line just for Denton. The "Mean Green Pot Pie" will be a green pot pie full of delicious eagle meat and some other healthy stuff (probably kale or carrots something I dunno). The "faux bacon BLT" will feature fake fake bacon which is real bacon made to taste like fake bacun (the popular type of fake bacon AKA not a typo).
Spiral Diner has won several awards in the fourteen years of their existence. Soon, they'll be opening next to Stoke at 208 E. Hickory, in the northwest corner of the Rail Yard property on Hickory Avenue next to the train station.
You can follow along with Spiral Diner today (which just so happens to be April 1st if you remember) at their Facebook page.