Bro of The Week - Folk Resenting Bro

Last week we brought you the first in a long and unnecessarily detailed series of articles about things called bros.  These 'bros' come from all walks of life; part-time jobs, temps, waiters, interns, T.A.s, day laborers, illegals, and baristos.  This week we get Hegelian and do the anti-thesis of the the folk bro.  Wedentondoit now gives you part deux in the series Bro of the Week.

Once upon a time there was folk bro. Folk Bro loved to skip and frollic around Denton bringing gay and merry to all the Denton towns people. But there was also a big bad leather jacket that hated the folk bro. He didn't like the unrealistic feel goodery the folk bro was all about. "What you doin' with that ukulele?" blogged the leather jacket. The folk bro didn't know how to react. He felt confused.  He couldn't understand why the leather jacket didn't want his friendship. The folk bro felt lost. The big bad leather jacket grabbed the folk bro by the beard in his moment of weakness and confusion and sent him in a downward spiral of resentment. Thus, Folk Resenting Bro.

The folk resenting bro feels bitter about not experiencing success(via Spune Recording Contract) in the genre of folk music.  He wishes he possessed the foresight then that he now possesses in such perfect capacity.   The folk bro came out of his chrysalis of pastoral peace into the horrifying reality of American Apparel and Microkorgs.  No longer can he bloodlessly take his bindle to and fro from Jup-ho to a lamp lit show in the J and J's basement.  He now must wade his way through Electro-Harmonix Catalogs, tons of Creation comps, and feigned interest in Tzadik records.  He wishes he had the foresight to play more progressively and shirk the chains of plainsong stylings.  But it's too late for the former folk bro.  He has folked up.  He can only grab his delay pedals, his Dr. Sample, a melodica, his pc computer with bootleg Reason, and claw his way out from the shameful depths of tomfoolery.

"What's mainstream these days? I dont even own a TV...well except the old one i bought from Goodwill to use in our live shows."

"Better change up my look."

A folk bro has shaved his beard.  Whereas his unshorn appearance previously typified his visual brand, his lack of facial hair now defines him.  This hairless look suits his black leather jacket and scratched DVD copy of "Rebel Without a Cause".  He detests the huggable bear feel and would happily educate you on the pro's and con's of beardery.  Although he may lack a full beard, the status of his moustache or other antiquated hair style changes from week to week.  The Folk Resenting bro wears anything that doesn't tie him back to his folk roots.  He wears anything that frees him from the deceptive lies that he once entranced him.  He doesn't take as many long walks with his best friend 'book/Salingerbro' anymore.  He has gotten more serious about biking, realizes his cruiser just won't cut it on the Tuesday night rides, and now thinks about saving up for a Bianchi next semester.  He has become non descript but closely follows the Chronic House Party look.  He might shower a little more but only to get the number of that girl that works at Thai Ocha.

"Thai Tea..maybe a number?"

He tires of naive friends and false community and feels ready to show a few cold shoulders in that tight fit tank he bought on eBay. 

 Folk Resenting Bro got real juiced when he caught Peopleodian at Dan's and thought he saw the future.  He knew that if Dan's would sell out(via Andrew W.K./The Decemberists) he would have to be there. 

Dans, 1/9/2010

When he knew a chillwave was soon to wipe out all those in attendance, he knew he must attend.  He arrived expecting the entirety of Denton's Chronic House Party Crowd but left thinking "Gameboys?  Is that allowed?  What have I been doing with all my banjo?"  The folk resenting bro feels pride when people ask if his band has a myspace and he tells them he deleted it.  He might even make his first album available for free download on mediafire/megaupload/zshare/yousendit/rapidshare in hopes of an offchance forkcasting.  

Don't make a mistake.  The Folk Resenting bro is not just a folk bro gone rogue.  He did not just break his dad's copy of The Hangman's Beautiful Daughter and buy some American Spirits.

Hate it. Miss it.

He has turned his back on folk and folk has turned it's back on him.

He could be one of many people who never 'got' folk; who never received attention from 'the man', who since day 1, have been so far ahead of the dorm babies they don't even know where they hold their shows.  

The folk resenting bro sees himself as a revolutionary.  He thinks he pushes the envelope.  Little does he know that many have come before him and many will come after.  There will always be people to post serious comments on Weshotjr and DC9.  He is just Folk Bro 2.0.  And where does that leave us?  Do we need these bros in our bro-munnity?  We here at Wedentondoit whole heartedly say yes.  Without the crucial presence of the folk resenting bro, the folk bro would reproduce uncontrollably and buy all of the banjo strings at McBride's or fill up all the Friday slots at J and J's.  The folk resenting bro plays the part of the wolf in the folk ecosystem.  And if we all remember 7th grade science, an ecosystem needs all of it's parts to survive.  We are the folk bro.  We are the folk resenting bro.  We are the bro-munnity.