Will Milne, Shaina Sheaff, and Sara Button
Last year, we took a look at what we thought were some of the best (and worst) public restrooms in Denton. As frequent urinators, we thought ourselves fairly adept to judge such a thing. It's been about fifteen months since then, though, and some new restrooms have come into play. In addition to that, some of the older restrooms have improved, while others have really let themselves go. We figured that the original post shouldn't be a one-off, and should instead be a yearly contest that we update. Heck, maybe we'll even make a trophy and hand it out. Let's quit this jibber-jabber and get onto the toilets...
Loophole - Despite the fact that you have to walk all the way through the bar and upstairs, the restrooms at Loophole (the ladies in particular) are actually quite nice. The dark oak finishes and neutral color scheme are welcoming, comforting, and sharp. There is even an leather upholstered bench for you to sit and wait your turn on, should you face a short wait. A+, Loophole.
The Restroom in the Basement of City Hall - Glen says a short stay in this bano will drastically improve your day. It's a calming and soothing bathroom that is a pleasure to pee in.
Rose Costumes - The restroom at this downtown ex-pat is decorated like 221B Baker St., AKA Sherlock Holmes’ apt. Distressed chairs, fabric-covered walls and other things that sound like they’d make a restroom gross are all over this baño, but somehow it works. Just don't touch anything. Plus, you get to pretend to be Benedict Cumberbatch while you pee. Can’t beat that.
LSA - The restrooms at LSA are always clean, well-stocked, modern and have a touch of Texas to them.
Paschall Bar - Cleanliness is absolutely vital to the quality of a restroom. Many bars apparently missed that meeting. Paschall's didn't. In addition to providing a respite from the cigar and cigarette smoke that permeates the rest of the establishment, the restrooms at Paschall are always clean and well-stocked with interesting artwork. In addition, the patrons here are such gentlemen that nobody yells at the ladies for sneaking into the mens’ room when the ladies’ has a line. Another interesting aspect is that the men's room at Paschall is routinely cleaner and nicer-smelling than the ladies. Well done, men. Well done.
Loco Cafe - This is an executive/level restroom in an unexpected location. These facilities are not only spacious, private and quiet but also clean enough to eat your biscuit sandwich off of the floor (please don't actually do this). As an added bonus, you get to smile or grimace at a photo of Glen Farris as you make your way to the throne.
OSDH - It's nothing fancy, but it's well-lit, always has enough toilet paper, and plenty of stalls (so you won't end up waiting too long on a Friday night this summer). Even with the crowds that flock there every weekend, the bathrooms remain surprisingly clean. Bonus points for including [not] fake floral arrangements in the the ladies' room.
Dan’s Silverleaf – Let us start by saying, the patrons of Dan’s are very adamant about their love for this restroom. The turquoise walls and multi-pane (yet just translucent enough) glass overlooking the first stall makes for a very pleasant lavatory experience. The smell isn’t typically an issue and there are usually additional paper goods around. Bonus points for the most thoughtful and least disgusting bathroom graffiti in town. All of this, and this is still a bar/music venue. Thank YOU, patrons of Dan’s.
Banter - While it's not incredibly well-lit, Banter offers a restroom that is always clean and fully stocked. The great part about it is there's at least a sense of privacy, as the door isn't right next to the counter - like it is at some local coffee joints - allowing you to show the whole world that you plan on doing some business behind closed doors.
The Possibly Mythical Secret Restroom In the Gateway Center - Some We Denton Do It-ers swear by this restroom as the number one place in town to take care of business, but we went investigating and couldn't find it. Our friends wouldn't share as to keep this unicorn of a restroom a secret. We think they might just be big fat liars.
Lou's - (NOTE: Apparently Lou's no longer has the three-seater, so take of that what you will.) Regardless of which ladies room you choose (the tiny three-seater or the spacious one-seater) you will have to wait. The three-seater is almost impossible unless you are 22 and have had your fair share of mind-erasers. The one-seater is quaint, yet mostly dirty. If visiting Lucky Lou's after midnight you are almost guaranteed to enter before or directly after someone who has spewed their multiple double vodka cranberry's and dignity and missed the toilet. The smell, though. At least they usually provide chalk to write your favorite Denton gossip on the walls, though. Seems like a good place for a few #WDDI's, right? We love ya in spite of it, though, Lou's.
Recycled Books - If you're an exhibitionist and enjoy people listening to the sound of you pee, this is 100% the place for you. It's made even better due to the fact that it's right next to the children's section so you can hear small children critiquing Seuss as you try to hover above the seat.
Andy's - (the downstairs bathrooms in the basement) Both the men's and the women's leave a lot to be desired. While the ladies' room is equipped with a mirror (score!), the floor is forever covered in some sort of sticky residue that's been there since at least 2006. That, and you may have a twenty minute wait while some couple makes out in the bathroom. Ah, romance.
J and J's - The constant fear of falling into the basement below with your pants at your ankles makes for a stressful restroom experience. In addition, the long walk down the hall to get to them has a very The Shining feel to it for some reason. We wouldn't be surprised to see a guy dressed in a dog costume walk out of the men's room at some point.
Rubber Gloves - These restrooms smell of stale urine and a flavor of Doritos that hasn't been invented yet. They're always extremely dark, giving off a very dungeon of doom feeling. We wouldn't want it any other way, though, Rubber Gloves. So keep it up, and maybe get these things even dirtier if you can.